From Grey to Radiance: The Journey of Unconditional Gratitude
From Grey to Radiance: The Journey of Unconditional Gratitude
“Give thanks for everything.”
—1 Thessalonians 5:18 (BLB)
“I’d set up a single bed, a dim light to read the obscure and the new, something to forget what I have seen and done; every experience, memory, relationship, emotion of wonderment, deep gloom, fear of unknown feelings, fear of loneliness, fear of giving up, fear of going insane—I would forget every last one, drift off to an easy sleep. And never wake up. At least not for a looong time. At least, that is what it would feel like. I would wake up, and everything would be as it was, except my perspective. I would view each person as a beautiful flower ready to blossom. And every moment I would bless. Indeed, I would walk the streets of London blessing moments, the warm sun in front to make the oncoming blessings visible to all, and behind so as I could predict what moment to bless next.”
—Journal entry, 2016
Reading these words now, it’s clear I was in deep emotional trouble—and I knew it. I recognized that the problem was my perspective; it needed to shift. That icy lens through which I viewed the world was not serving me.
But the idea of blessing every moment? That’s extraordinary. Did I even believe that was possible? In theory, yes. Possible for me? I wasn’t sure. Yet, even in the depths of high-functioning depression, something within me knew exactly how I wanted to be. It was a goal—a beacon in the darkness.
The Challenge of Shifting Perspective
Neuroscientist Dr. Andrew Huberman rightly points out that mental health often seems more abstract than physical health. When you’re in the midst of a subjective, taboo storm—that’s depression for you—“abstract” becomes an ineffable mess.
In his podcast, Huberman asked for a concrete definition of what good mental health looks like. His guest, psychiatrist Dr. Paul Conti, asserted, “A healthy self approaches life through the lenses of agency and gratitude.”
Gratitude has been proven time and again to elevate our experience. Science consistently highlights its power. For instance, a study by Unanue et al. (2019) found that “higher levels of gratitude increase life satisfaction, which in turn increases gratitude, leading to a positive spiral.”
A positive spiral? Sign me up!
Gratitude is giving attention to something to unlock its real value. It’s the key we hold that can extract goodness all around us.
I know you’ve heard of gratitude. You might even be tired of hearing about it—I was. It’s everywhere. But we can’t deny that it works.
What I’m suggesting now isn’t just gratitude; it’s unconditional gratitude.
Radical Perspective Shift
1 Thessalonians 5:18 presents a far-out idea: “Give thanks for everything.”
That sounds more radical than realistic—much like my notion of blessing every moment, words I scribbled down after nearly giving up.
Everything means everything. The totality. You couldn’t add to “everything” even if you wanted to. It means going all in.
The Amplified Bible adds depth: “In every situation [no matter what the circumstances] be thankful.”
A laughable idea! It doesn’t even sound like it comes from this planet.
This concept is radical because it goes against everything we’ve been taught. It challenges our unconscious belief systems, heavily influenced by social conditioning.
We’ve been conditioned to react to our circumstances: to feel good when things go well and bad when they don’t.
But Romans 12:2 (NLT) encourages us to challenge this norm:
“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.”
Reacting to circumstances—that’s what “this world” considers normal. The majority think this way.
It’s time to question: Is there another way?
There is. It’s in 1 Thessalonians 5:18: Give thanks for everything.
“I wonder if there is a school of unlearning?”
—Charlie Mackesy, The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse
Just as we’ve been conditioned to view life in a certain way, we have the power to decondition and reshape our perspectives. If we learned it once, we can unlearn and relearn anew.
Opening Your Eyes to What Is Here
“Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.”
—Dr. Seuss
It’s easy to wish we were somewhere else. I spent years doing this. Now I’m somewhere else, wishing I were back where I was. How absurd is that?
I’ve decided I’ll never make this mistake again. I wish I had savored my past blessings more instead of letting them slip through my fingers. Never again.
“Enjoy what you have rather than desiring what you don’t have.”
—Ecclesiastes 6:9a (NLT)
So, what if there are near-infinite things in our immediate space to which we could feel a warm connection? It’s all about awareness.
Slow down. Chew your life experience. Ponder your blessings.
We often spend ample time ruminating, pondering our mistakes, and rehearsing arguments. Practicing gratitude begins to shift our lens. It opens us up to just being alive.
Because it’s the simple stuff that truly holds the essence of life.
Reframing Reality: Whatever Happens
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds.”
—James 1:2 (NIV)
Be grateful for everything? Consider it a joy to face trials?
Doesn’t a trial mean… something bad?
The original Greek word is peirasmos, meaning a test, temptation, or affliction. It can encompass all three at once—my life experience confirms that.
Being happy about it still sounds ludicrous.
True, it’s far easier to be grateful for the good stuff. I’m grateful for the blue sky, the roof over my head, when things go well.
But what if I could be grateful for the gray sky? For feeling cold and wet? For when things don’t go well?
It’s all about perspective.
A gray sky brings rain, which means growth. It offers variety and seasons. Even gray clouds display detailed patterns and beautiful shapes that constantly move.
Feeling cold and wet? I can think of my warm apartment and feel grateful I have one. It deepens my understanding of different experiences, fosters empathy for those without shelter.
When things don’t go well, I can turn a bad day into good data.
- What went wrong?
- Why did it happen?
- What should I take more responsibility for?
- What is life trying to teach me through this bad day?
- How can I grow from this?
If I’m ill or in pain—or even facing mortality—how can gratitude play a role?
Illness might renew appreciation for health. Pain is an opportunity to practice presence. It helps us understand others going through similar struggles, equipping us with empathy.
“Death smiles at us all. All a man can do is smile back.”
—Gladiator
This quote encapsulates stoicism. Facing death with honor.
Nothing forces a significant perspective shift like contemplating mortality. Things become clear. We gain renewed appreciation for the moment, for family, for what truly matters. We let go of grudges and trivial stresses. Spirituality moves to the center.
I wish I could have this clarity throughout my life.
“Better to spend your time at funerals than at parties. After all, everyone dies—so the living should take this to heart.”
—Ecclesiastes 7:2 (NLT)
Once, I arrived home to find our bicycles stolen. They were expensive and dear to us—our babies… taken. Deep, freezing pain.
But this event illuminated my life. I’d been too carefree, perhaps careless. I’d thought of securing them in our communal space for months. Why hadn’t I? I realized that if I’m too busy or stressed to protect what’s important, something is wrong. This led me to slow down and pay attention to essential things—a huge life lesson.
I thanked God for this lesson. It cost me thousands, but the wisdom gained was worth more—if I acted on it.
Even depression or anxiety can be viewed as signals. Thank you for letting me know something isn’t right.
It sounds poetic, but how is a poem less real than anything else?
If we can consider our difficulties as joy, would that not make us invincible?
Your perspective is more powerful than your experience.
It’s the context of your life, not the content, that makes the difference.
Our internal environment holds more power over us than our external circumstances.
Gratitude is a powerful tool that can shift the internal environment. It’s like having a lever over your inner state.
Principled Living: A Conscious Choice
Being grateful in any situation, good or bad, mirrors the concept of agape love—unconditional love.
Agape love is principled love. It’s not driven by past conditioning but by present principles. There are no unconscious strings attached.
It’s a decision, not a reaction.
In the Bible, this is paramount. Jesus highlighted it as the key factor in the top two commandments:
- Love God with everything you have.
- Love your neighbor as yourself.
—Matthew 22:37,39 (NIV)
These are epic ideas for anyone, anytime. Practicing conscious love has undeniable positive effects.
As Stephen G. Post underscores in his study:
“Altruistic behavior is associated with greater well-being, health, and longevity.”
—Post, 2005
This suggests that giving selflessly can enrich our lives profoundly.
Practicing altruism and agape love requires conscious, mindful awareness. It challenges unconscious negativity.
An affirmation that helped me reframe my perspective was simple: “I love my life.” I borrowed it from Tony Robbins. I use it in the mornings or when I’m stressed and can’t see the good. It’s agape love for my present moment. I love my life because I choose to—not because I have no other choice, but because I know the alternative.
To love life anyway. It’s a life stance. Maintaining love through life’s storms is a decision.
This is akin to being grateful for everything.
“I love my life” = Unconditional gratitude for my life.
While unconditional love means to do good, unconditional gratitude means to find the good.
Unconditional gratitude is a life stance. It’s a choice that requires mindful awareness.
How could you have one without the other? And how can you love something if you don’t value it?
Both challenge the conditioned responses of the human heart and mind. Our natural reaction might be to love or feel grateful only when it suits us. This is about rising above those tendencies.
Instead of quickly labeling and judging, we pause and look for the value.
Equanimity: Steadying the Heart
Sometimes, teachings from the East shed light on life in the West.
Have you heard of equanimity? From the Latin aequanimitas, it means “even-mindedness.”
This fundamental Buddhist and yogic teaching complements Christian thought powerfully.
It’s similar to qualities in the Bible like patience and self-control. Similar concepts appear in Stoicism and Hinduism.
In modern psychology, we might call this emotional regulation or resilience.
Equanimity teaches us to navigate life’s peaks and valleys with a steady heart.
It’s the attitude of accepting whatever happens—not passively, not letting dangers walk over us—but embracing reality with openness.
It’s the calm acceptance of things as they are, without pushing them away or clinging to them.
Like watching clouds pass across the sky, observing without judgment, without wanting to change their shape or speed.
This helps because we can’t be grateful for something we cannot accept. We can’t find the positive in our experience without openness.
Equanimity brings open awareness to our entire experience.
If our emotions are attacking the situation, how can we hope to view things objectively? Negativity tends to make us narrow and constricted. But gratitude requires openness. Equanimity helps maintain openness amid trouble, leaving room for gratitude to grow.
This kind of open awareness creates space for love and gratitude without strings attached.
It counters our unconscious social conditioning. We’ve learned to attach strings to every situation. Equanimity detaches those strings.
It empowers us to break free from unconscious reactions based on the past.
Once we’re in a space of calm acceptance amid trouble, we can choose gratitude. The ability to choose gratitude when our past experience might choose aversion—that’s unconditional gratitude.
Embracing Unconditional Gratitude Daily
I invite you to pause and ask yourself earnestly:
“What if I could practice unconditional gratitude? What would I feel daily? How might my life experience be different?”
Reflecting on this can paint these concepts over your own canvas.
Once, in my darkness, I had a strange idea: “Every moment I would bless.”
And it was in the Bible all along.
“Give thanks for everything.” What a crazy, life-changing concept!
Complete and total gratitude for everything life has to offer.
If this were a destination, I’d admit I’m still far from it. I don’t get it all the time. I still complain and have bad days.
But it’s not a destination—it’s a powerful idea. And it works.
This is about progression, not perfection. Paradoxically, it means seeing what’s already here with freshness and love.
It’s a way of looking at your present moment and loving every minute.
It requires awareness and discipline. It challenges us with every thought, feeling, and action.
But the truth is, there’s good in every situation. There’s something in our immediate space right now that deserves our full appreciation.
This is one of those areas that can make a massive difference in your whole life.
Because ultimately, it’s not the events of our lives that define us but the context in which we frame them.
The lens you look through is your life experience.
This lens is a journey—a daily choice, a spiritual and mental commitment.
I hope this exploration has inspired you to see yourself—and your journey—through a new lens.
Embrace unconditional gratitude. Let it transform your perspective from gray to radiance.
